After the game last night (Aramis!), I caught Lou Piniella's fumbling press conference regarding Carlos Zambrano. My hope was that the team had finally come to its senses and was preparing to move El Toro Loco back into the rotation. Of course I was wrong. The Cubs will instead stretch Zambrano out so he can serve in long relief. Anyone know where I can find some good rope? I'm looking to make a noose. I haven't decided whether it's for me or for Piniella.

Apparently, the Cubs are completely unable to admit that moving Zambrano to the bullpen was a bad idea to begin with. Lou has lost his mind and Hendry his by allowing this move to take place. The only other teams I can think of that moved starters to the bullpen this year are Milwaukee (Suppan, who's fucking terrible) and Boston (Wakefield, because of a legitimately crowded rotation). But that's really beside the point. There's no other team in baseball that would be stupid enough to move Zambrano to the 'pen, if they had him. Not to close, not to set-up, and for goddamn sure, not for long relief.

What really concerns me is that by continually messing with Zambrano's routine, they increase the chance that he'll sustain an injury and fuck up his arm. But hell, maybe that's what Hendry wants at this point. Maybe he knows Zambrano won't waive his no-trade clause unless he becomes worried that his career might be in jeopardy if he stays in Chicago. Big Z's already played along with this nonsense for nearly a month, despite looking really uncomfortable coming in from the bullpen. Maybe Hendry is hoping this will finally push him over the edge into demanding a trade. And I wouldn't blame the guy for wanting to leave.

Look, Zambrano is a starter. In a good year, maybe he wins you 18 games. In a bad year, he's Livan Hernandez with more K's. I'll take either one from the big guy and so would any other major league team. Except for the Cubs, who are apparently run by the mentally challenged. Tom Ricketts should get rid of Hendry and Piniella before they do any further damage to this team or to Carlos Zambrano. Let Trammell run the team, bring up Ryno, or hire Fredi Gonzalez when the Marlins fire him for rightfully benching Hanley Ramirez. But stop fucking around with the guy who should be at the forefront of your rotation and is the longest-tenured Cub to boot. Fix the problem now before that relationship is damaged forever.

Goddammit so much.