We're bringing you mediocre peanut gallery commentary for today's Cubs/Astros tilt. It's a blustery 50 degree day in Chicago, but a calm and temperate 68 degrees in our living room. Ryan Dempster squares off against Wandy Rodriguez, who will surely stymie our hitters. You're getting live updates bullet-point style, because time stamps are such a hassle.

• The wind is blowing straight in, so the Cubs are probably going to have to rely on the small ball. That is not necessarily a good thing.
• Baker is starting at 2B, and Nady is in RF. Right-handed heavy at the plate against Wandy. Wasn't Nady not supposed to play the field until June though? Does Baker have to run out to the warning track for the cutoff?
• If you're a fan of soft ground balls and pop ups, then ladies and gentlemen, these 2010 Astros are your team!
• With Fuku out, Byrd is again batting in the two hole.
• If this first inning is any indication, it will be a hell of a thing if anyone hits the ball out of the infield.
  
• Dempster's no-hitter is broken up by Hunter Pence in the second inning.
• Even when they get Berkman back, this Astros lineup is absolutely atrocious. Congratulations Pittsburgh, you will no longer be the bottom feeders in the NL Central. That has to be some sort of moral victory for Pirate fans.
• Sounds like Lilly has one more rehab start in Peoria tomorrow, then will join the club for a start against Milwaukee. Hopefully that bumps Gorzelanny and not Silva. Christ, I can't believe I just said that.
• ...and A-Ram breaks up Wandy's no hit bid.
• The classic Cubs baserunning continues, as Nady lines out to short, and A-Ram is doubled up at first.
• Kaz Matsui and Fukudome each have the day off. Well, Matsui's is somewhat of a permanent benching. They're on rival teams, but do you think they talk? Would anyone notice if they each left their dugout and went out for sushi together during the game?
• Bourn drew a walk, but Soto nailed him trying to steal on a pitchout and throw. Possibly saved a run there, as Keppinger followed it up with a solid base hit.
• Baker with a walk, and Soto with a sharp single. Dempster follows it up with a perfect sac bunt.
• Marlon Byrd! Earning that paycheck with a two out two-run single.
• Carlos Lee hitting a robust .114 on the young season. Well, less than that now as he just struck out.
• Len and Bob were just praising the virtues of Kevin Millar, Cub blogosphere Enemy #1. Apparently he's considering ending his illustrious career in the American Association baseball league, with the Saint Paul Saints. Godspeed you charismatic son of a bitch. Godspeed.
• Dempster strikes out the side in the fifth. Looking sharp.
• The Cubs are doing a pretty good job of sitting on the Wandy curveball. Dempster pushes over Soto with another successful bunt.
• Damn, Theriot smoked a liner back to Wandy that would have surely scored Soto had it gone through. Score remains 2-0 heading into the sixth.
• Dempster continues to mow down the Astros. Deer hunting season cannot come fast enough for this Houston squad.
• Another baserunning blunder, as Byrd is caught in a rundown after a Lee chopper back to the mound.
• Tyler Colvin replaces Nady in RF. SKEET!
• Harold "I Have Nothing Else To Do, Let's Make Another Ghostbusters Movie" Ramis is on deck for the stretch.
• Harold "Does Seth Rogan Need Me To Play His Dad In Another Movie?" Ramis is doing his best Jerry Garcia impersonation. In appearance, not musical stylings.
• Apparently Soriano has finally relented and ditched his little pre-catch hop. That's nice and all, but it won't make that contract look any better.
• Tommy Manzella (!) hits a slow dribbler up the middle and reaches first. The table is now set for further Astros failure and frustration.
• Colvin was in RF, and he chased a ball all the way down the line in LF. The man has no regard for time or space! Tyler Colvin Double SKEET!
• Quite the effort by Dempster today. Lou is pulling him after two outs in the eighth, in favor of a Marmol four-out save.
• ...and Keppinger promptly knocks in Manzella. Attack of the Killer Middle Infielders.
• Marmol regroups for a strikeout. On to the ninth...
• Hopefully we can wrap this up here and avoid our semi-weekly bout of Marmol-AIDS.
• Geoff Blum kills the Cubs again, tying the game with a double into the right field corner.
• Ryan Dempster? Not buying Marmol dinner tonight.
• Marmol-AIDS rules the day. Going into the bottom of the ninth...
• Fuku draws a walk with two outs to bring up Jeff Baker...
• Baker walks to bring up Koyie Hill, who replaced Soto earlier...
• Heading to the tenth inning. This game should be over, dammit.
• Marshall enters the game and promptly gives up a double to Jason Michaels...
• Sac fly by Pedro Feliz scores Michaels. Bullpen FAIL.
• Is it over yet? No? Theriot is called out on strikes for the second out. Very close to getting tossed for arguing the call.
• And that will do it. Cubs lose 3-2. No need to post the W flag graphic.