According to MLBTradeRumors, the Orioles have signed Corey Patterson (willingly), and he is reporting to extended spring training. Why, pray tell, would they do such a thing? Because they have an open roster spot due to Felix Pie's DL stint. As you can see in the image, Corey is as confused as we are.

Wrap your mind around it: future Cubs supposed All-Star and Hall of Famer-to-be Corey Patterson was traded to the Orioles, making way for future Cubs supposed All-Star and Hall of Famer-to-be Felix Pie. Pie was then traded by the Cubs to the Orioles because he was not the man that the Cubs thought Corey Patterson would be. And now Patterson has been signed again by the Orioles in hopes of replacing the dreams envisioned by the Cubs and Orioles, embodied by one Felix Pie.

In other words: Andy MacPhail FAIL