In a meager attempt to create a new weekly feature, we bring you the Friday Five. Each week the Exile staff will tackle various topics and come up with five things pertaining to it. The topics could be as pertinent as the Chicago Cubs to as completely offtrack as food or music.

We've had a couple games to see the bullpen in action, which was a huge source of contention in the offseason and during Spring Training. Snark and Grabow showed us that as usual the Cubs setup men can be scary, but as Marshall and Russell showed us, it can have it's bright spots as well. Which Cubs setup man (not including Marmol) do you feel is going to be most effective this year? You can include Gorzey, who we assume will move into the bullpen after TRL returns. Which will be gone by the end of April? Is there anyone in the minors who will shine at the major league level?

Goreo: Esmalin Caridad is going to be the 8th inning stud this year. He's got the stuff and the crazy name to be an effective setup man. Paired with Marmol, the Cubs are going to have a filthy combination at the back end of the pen, provided they ever get any leads to protect.

Editor's Note: The "official" EOC nickname of Esmalin is Escargot.

John:

Effective

Marshall - If we could get an entire season without him starting (and subsequently fucking up) a game against a divisional opponent, he might get some respect as a dependable releiver, which is all he's ever going to be.

Sloth Gorzelanny - Provided we keep that fat kid around to supply him with Baby Ruth bars, his retard strength should serve our bullpen well. Especially when that scary "Throw Momma From the Train" lady shows up. I think her name is LaRussa.

Esmailin Caridad - Looked phenomenal in the game Tuesday night. Of course, since he pitched directly after Grabow, I'm operating with Cubs Bullpen Beer Goggles(TM) here.

Boo-Urns

Jeff Samardzija - Give it a few days and we'll see the ND alums start to stick up for him with increasing dickheadishess. Oh, we haven't given him a chance, he's really a starter, his face is a disability that should allow him to start with a 1-2 count. None of it matters. Might want to go house hunting in Des Moines, bud.

Carlos Marmol - Not for anything he's done so much as the abject terror I'm going to find myself in when he eventually has to save a big game. Don't get comfortable, or his fastball will reach out and nail you in the face. I don't mean that figuratively.

Ginger Russ: Call me a homer, but I like this kid Russell. I previewed him during Spring Training and he has been lights out ever since. The only worry I have is that Lou will go to him more often and in more stressful situations, which might break down the kid. His dad, Jeff Russell was a professional closer though (and two time all-star), so let's hope he has cool water running in his blood.

Obviously Snark will be gone soon, let's hope with a come-backer to a shattered knee cap. Okay, after seeing the video and the x-rays, not even I am hateful enough to wish that upon someone. I will leave that to Wolter. Look for Andrew Cashner to get at least a couple trips up to the bigs this year as the Cubs bullpen starts to fall apart. Wait...starts?

Jake: Whoa, I didn't know that was Jeff Russell's kid. I have respect for anyone related to a player I can recall from my baseball card collecting days of the late 80's/early 90's.

Anyway what was the question? Oh setup men, right. At this point I think Caridad is becoming the emerging favorite for 8th inning duties. John Grabow is, was, and always has been overrated. I hope Grabow gets reduced to being a LOOGY most of the time and is not relied upon for full innings of relief. Jesus he came in for one at bat last night and failed miserably. Why did the Cubs re-sign him again? Oh because he's left-handed. Right. You know I think my dog might be left-handed too.

Well, just like the Cubs first series, we came up a little short this week. Let's call it Cubs depression. Tune in next week for another rousing edition of the Friday Five. Have a topic for The Friday Five to tackle? Email it to us at exileonclark@gmail.com.