Last week Spring Training blessed us with our first games. This weekend, Cub fans are already on suicide watch. Oh, we kid, we kid!

Seriously though, Carlos Silva? I would venture to say that he resembles a fat toad more so than Hideki Irabu. In any case, Silva got lit up by a split squad of the White Sox. Carlos Quentin touched him up for two home runs, while screaming, "look Ma, no more plantar fasciitis!" Fat Toad allowed six earned over two innings, and is hopefully well on his road to being released. Ultimately, the Cubs lost the game 15-3.

Angel Guzman, a key to the 2010 Cubs bullpen, is out indefinitely with a torn ligament in his shoulder. Jim Hendry then proceeded to have another cardiac incident, as he was suddenly woken up from that recurring dream where he doesn't find bullpen depth in the offseason. Kiko Calero looks pretty good right now, huh Jimmer?

The Cubs had a pair of split squad games scheduled for Sunday, but they were both rained out. Damn you El Nino! Damn you to hell!

One final note: Andres Blanco is out for a couple weeks with a sprain in his right knee. Lil' Mikey Horse 'n' Phone has also been on the mend the last few days, but will get some looks at shortstop. This infield shuffling all begs the question: who the hell is Darwin Barney?