HOUSTON ASTROS

2009: 74-88 (5th)

So Long: 3B Aaron fucking Boone, P Doug Brocail, OF Darin Erstad, P Mike Hampton, P LaTroy Hawkins, SS Miguel Tejada, P Jose Valverde

Welcome: 3B Pedro Feliz, P Matt Lindstrom, P Brandon Lyon, P Brett Myers, OF Cory Sullivan

Projected Starting Lineup (courtesy of rototimes.com)
1. Michael Bourn, CF
2. Kazuo Matsui, 2B
3. Lance Berkman, 1B
4. Carlos Lee, LF
5. Hunter Pence, RF
6. Pedro Feliz, 3B
7. J.R. Towles, C
8. Tommy Manzella, SS

Rotation - Roy Oswalt, Wandy Rodriguez, Brett Myers, Brian Moehler, Bud Norris
Setup - Matt Lindstrom, Jeff Fulchino
Closer - Brandon Lyon

The Astros were awful last year. I make no qualms about the fact that this delights me to no end. I like to think it's karma for them crying like babies after the relocated Zambrano no-hitter game back at the end of 2008.

Looking at the Astros lineup for 2010, I can't see any reason to believe they'll improve upon their 5th place finish last season. It's essentially the same team except for a few minor additions. I do give them credit for purging a bunch of corpses from last year. Boone, Hampton, Erstad, Tejada, Hawkins. That's enough walking dead for a crappy low-budget George Romero remake. Although Zombie Mike Hampton would only last for a couple of takes before getting injured and sitting out the rest of the film despite making the most money.

The pitching staff looks just about the same with the wily veteran Roy "no bullshit" Oswalt leading the rotation. The only big addition was Brett Myers who should fit in nicely with his new redneck home, where wife beating isn't discouraged. The bullpen is iffy as the loss of Jose Valverde has left a void at closer. Houston apparently thinks having an above average setup man is good enough to close games.

I suppose the Astros could do better in 2010, but they'll certainly need to improve on their impotent run production from last season. Their 643 runs scored was third worst in the NL with only the Padres and Pirates scoring fewer times. It was Houston's lowest amount of runs in a full 162 game season since 1992, back when they had Eric Anthony and a pre-coked out Ken Caminiti. Aside from Carlos Lee, Lance Berkman and Hunter Pence, this offense is pretty damn anemic in the power department.


PRESEASON AWARDS

If this team were a disease/ailment it would be: - Xenophobia. Good God Houston, get some brown people on your damn team already. Michael Bourn needs a friend!

Adam Everett v2.0 - Rookie Tommy Manzella has the best shot at the starting shortstop gig this season. Known to have an exceptional glove, having an improved defense up the middle will come at a cost to their offense as Manzella isn't the strongest of hitters.

I thought you were dead - Brian Moehler is still pitching? Not only that he's still in someone's rotation? Must be that sexy 4.87 ERA and 1.44 WHIP he's posted the past three years in Houston that keeps him in a job.