DETROIT TIGERS
2009: 86-77 (2nd)

So Long: OF Curtis Granderson, 1B Aubrey Huff, P Edwin Jackson, P Brandon Lyon, 2B Placido Polanco, P Fernando Rodney, P Jarrod Washburn

Welcome: P Phil Coke, OF Johnny Damon, OF Austin Jackson, P Max Scherzer, P Jose Valverde

Projected Starting Lineup
1. Austin Jackson, CF
2. Johnny Damon, LF
3. Magglio Ordonez, RF
4. Miguel Cabrera, 1B
5. Carlos Guillen, DH
6. Brandon Inge, 3B
7. Gerald Laird, C
8. Scott Sizemore, 2B
9. Adam Everett/Ramon Santiago, SS

Rotation - Justin Verlander, Rick Porcello, Max Scherzer, Nate Robertson, Jeremy Bonderman, Dontrelle Willis
Setup - Joel Zumaya, Phil Coke
Closer - Jose Valverde

As you may recall, The Tigers lost the AL Central to the Twins in a classic 163rd game last season. What you may not recall is that the Tigers held the lead in the division since early May and finally pissed it away in that final game. So what does a team that should have easily made the playoffs do in the offseason? Trade away Curtis Granderson for a rookie pitcher & a prospect and sign Johnny Damon!

To be fair, General Manager Dave Dombrowski is stuck with some horrible contracts for 2010. How horrible? Look at this shit:

• Magglio Ordóñez, who had a paltry 50 RBIs last year: $18 million.
  
• Dontrell Willis, who's won 1 of the 15 games he's pitched in the last two seasons: $12 million.
  
• Brandon fucking Inge: $6.6 million
  
• Jeremy Bonderman, who pitched 10.1 innings last year: $12.5 million
  
• The Tigers still owe Gary Sheffield $13.6 million.

So signing Johnny Damon, who's coming off one of his best years, to a 1 year/$8 million contract is hardly the stupidest thing the Tigers could have done this offseason. But with Damon in the lineup, the roster looks like a pretty decent fantasy team if it were 2006.

With Verlander & Porcello at the top of the rotation, supposedly healthy starters in Bonderman, Robertson & Willis, and newly acquired closer José Valverde, the Tigers might be able to pitch themselves into contention in the most mediocre division in all of baseball if they stay healthy. Considering that Willis, Bonderman and Robertson combined for a whopping 14 starts last season, that's not very likely.

PRESEASON AWARDS

If this team were a disease/ailment it would be: Parkinson's Disease. Why? Because their starting rotation looks kinda shaky.

The Prospect Most Likely to Crack Under the Pressure Award: Austin Jackson. The rookie has been tearing up the Grapefruit league and was the jewel of the Yankee's farm system for years before coming to Detroit in the Granderson deal. With his high batting average, exceptional speed on the bases and tons of praise from USA Baseball, Austin Jackson is a can't miss prospect. Sounds familiar...

The Mark Prior Award for the Pitcher Collecting a Ridiculous Amount of Money While Doing Nothing: tie. Bonderman & Willis combined for 44 innings & 1 win last season before their injuries (which I presume occurred as they were furiously jerking off while looking at their paystubs) ended their seasons.