CLEVELAND INDIANS
2009: 65-97 (5th)

So Long: 2B Jamey Carroll, P Tomo Ohka, C Kelly Shoppach, P Jose Veras

Welcome: 1B Russell Branyan, 1B Shelley Duncan, 2B Mark Grudzielanek, OF Austin Kearns, C Mike Redmond, SS Luis Rodriguez, P Mitch Talbot, P Jamey Wright

Projected Starting Lineup (courtesy of rototimes.com)
1. Asdrubal Cabrera, SS
2. Grady Sizemore, CF
3. Shin-Soo Choo, RF
4. Travis Hafner, DH
5. Jhonny Peralta, 3B
6. Russell Branyan, 1B
7. Michael Brantley, LF
8. Luis Valbuena, 2B
9. Lou Marson, C

Rotation - Jake Westbrook, Justin Masterson, Jeremy Sowers, Fausto Carmona, Aaron Laffey
Setup - Tony Sipp, Chris Perez
Closer - Kerry Wood

Holy crap, how did I get stuck writing about the Indians? The Indians sucked last year and unless something drastically changes, fans of the Tribe should prepare themselves for the team to suck again in 2010. They almost lost 100 games last year and in the past two years have dealt Cy Young winners CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee, as well as #1 offensive threat Victor Martinez. Look for the salary dump to continue before the trade deadline this season, as fan favorite Grady Sizemore figures to be the next guy traded for prospects. Kerry Wood and new arrival Russell Branyan also figure to be dealt once the Indians take the big nosedive.

Is there hope? I guess if Jhonny Peralta remembers how to hit better than his parents spell, Travis Hafner returns to his 2006 form, and Russell Branyon doesn't regress, they might put up some good offensive numbers to back up the Korean Klobberer, Shin Soo Choo. Realistically, the Tribe just doesn't have the pitching to compete in the Central with the likes of the White Sox, Tigers, Twins, and Royals.


PRESEASON AWARDS

If this team were a disease/ailment it would be: - Herpes. Yeah, it was great to be an Indians fan there for a while, like scoring with a really hot chick who had a fab penthouse and Bentley. Then the next day you woke up with festering sores on your junk and you found out that the Bentley was only a loaner and she sold the penthouse to some Boston twitass with a popped collar and money falling out of his asshole. At least that's how I imagine Indians fans must feel watching Sabathia pitch for the Yankees, Lee for the Mariners, and Martinez club homers for the Red Sox this year.

The Jeff Loria Award: The Indians are quickly becoming known for selling off their superstars before they reach free agency. As I mentioned above, Cy Young winners CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee departed in consecutive years and they dealt stud catcher/1B Victor Martinez to the Red Sox last year as well. After trading for The Pulse in the offseason last year, he too was shipped out of town to the Cardinals. Look for Grady Sizemore, Russell Branyan, Kerry Wood, and others to be on the move this year. No one is safe, except for maybe Lou Marson, whoever the fuck he is.

The Marge Schott Award: Is it just me or do the Indians have the most racially offensive logo in sports? I'm a big Blackhawks fan and their team logo is also an Indian head, but a heck of a lot classier looking than the grinning monstrosity that is Chief Wahoo.