Note: We here at EOC made the mistake of assigning some team reviews to Wolter, not realizing that he barely even pays attention to the Cubs, much less Ban Johnson's upstart "American League." Also, he's hung up on the past. One year in particular. When told his review was 31 years out-of-date, he snarled "what I say stands." So here we go:

Oakland Athletics

1978: 69-93 (6th in AL West)

So Long: P Pete Broberg, DH Rico Carty, P Steve Renko, C Bruce Robinson, P Elias Sosa

Welcome: P Dave Hamilton, P Jim Todd

Projected Starting Lineup
1. Glenn Burke, LF
2. Miguel Dilone, RF
3. Mitchell Page, DH
4. Jeff Newman, C
5. Dave Revering, 1B
6. Mike Edwards, 2B
7. Tony Armas, CF
8. Mickey Klutts, 3B
9. Rob Picciolo, SS

Rotation - Rick Langford, Matt Keough, Mike Norris, John Henry Johnson
Setup - Jim Todd, Bob Lacey
Closer - Dave Heaverlo

Hoo boy... The A's have been stinking up the Bay Area ever since Charley Finley began dismantling his powerhouse team 3 seasons ago in 1976. Long gone are legendary players like Reggie Jackson, Catfish Hunter, Rollie Fingers, Vida Blue, and Sal Bando. In their place are a bunch of washed up losers and "never was"es.

Frankly, if the A's want to get the kids out of the discoteques and off the Galaxian games, they're going to have to play exciting, purposeful baseball. Right now, there are literally only hundreds of people showing up to A's games. And who can blame their fans for leaving in droves. What kind of masochist would want to see a team that's clearly assembled out of the rejects from other teams' farm systems because their cheapskate owner won't pay for a real star? If I were an author, I could do worse than write the story of Charley Finley's destruction of this team. I'd call it "Moneyed Ball," because he's too concerned with holding on to his money than building a winning team.

The one bright spot on this team, in my opinion, is left field. Really, the whole future of the organization rests here. Glenn Burke is a gamer, a cultural touchstone ( his celebratory "high five" is sweeping the nation), and I think this is his year. He's got grit, determination, and plays the game the right way (and the ladies love him). If Finley cares at all about winning, he'll lock Burke down to a long term contract, and trade away a minor leaguer, maybe that brash young hothead Rickey Henderson, for some decent starting pitching. You already have some speed with Burke (15 bases last year!), and Mike Edwards and Mitchell Page could easily combine for 50 bases. And it's not like Henderson could top that, no matter how speedy he is.

All in all, this is a weak team, but I doubt they could be worse than last year. That would be as unthinkable as George Lucas making a bad movie!

PRESEASON AWARDS

If this team were a disease/ailment it would be: Alzheimers. It's like they forgot how to be a good club just a handful of seasons after being considered a dynasty. At this point they'd either need to pump their players full of performance enhancing drugs, or hire some super-genius GM with some sort of slide rule or "personal home computer" (if such a thing existed) just to make this team win.

The "Man I'd Most Like to Hire" Award: Backup catcher Jim Essian. He's such a strong presence behind the plate, he'd no doubt be a great skipper one day. But is Major League Baseball ready for an Armenian manager?

The "Third Time's The Charm" Award: The entire Oakland infield. Did you know the Oakland A's (Despite their current nickname, The Triple A's) have yet to have a triple play since moving West? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that there's no way this team lets the 70s end without getting at least 3!